I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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