Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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