maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
