That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
