I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
