Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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