Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
