so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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