My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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