apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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