I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
