Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
