yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
