Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I want is dick and wine.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
