I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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