Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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