I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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