I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
