Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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