i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
