At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
