i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
