with your own penis?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
