i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
