if you like me you must not know who I am
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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