well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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