new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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