Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize