I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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