they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
