Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
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and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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