The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
