Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
