i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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