I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
