i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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