no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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