Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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