this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
