I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
