My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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