she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
