Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're like the curious george of whores
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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