A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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