Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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