How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
