do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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