We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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