Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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