oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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