i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
