She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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