I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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