i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
