You're my little dorito
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
