:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
