Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
