it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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