We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.