Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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  (763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats. http://tfl.nu/m7i1
  Replies (1) Good night (1699) Bad night (588)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  don't worry... so do I

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  (773): it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man" (708) I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights. (773) don't worry... so do I http://tfl.nu/9jx5
  Replies (24) Good night (645) Bad night (3985)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  dude she's married.

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  so? a ring don't cover no holes.

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  (269): dude she's married. (1-269): so? a ring don't cover no holes. http://tfl.nu/8xdg
  Replies (42) Good night (5067) Bad night (1564)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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  (709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju
  Replies (23) Good night (7166) Bad night (1012)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them

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  (443): at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them http://tfl.nu/jmz8
  Replies (12) Good night (3666) Bad night (975)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

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  (732): I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered. http://tfl.nu/02c6
  Replies (18) Good night (4400) Bad night (1039)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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  (612): Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls. http://tfl.nu/jpdx
  Replies (15) Good night (3303) Bad night (1342)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...

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  (443): told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet... http://tfl.nu/9yno
  Replies (6) Good night (2862) Bad night (1130)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1861) Bad night (1391)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy

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  (305): I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy http://tfl.nu/yxp4
  Replies (14) Good night (2085) Bad night (2588)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her

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  (201): i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her http://tfl.nu/006u
  Replies (5) Good night (1242) Bad night (626)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..

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  (250): She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame.. http://tfl.nu/q158
  Replies (3) Good night (1131) Bad night (557)
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  (626): View more from California

  Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.

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  (626): Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter. http://tfl.nu/7qar
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (784)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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  (702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (266)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.

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  (603): There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here. http://tfl.nu/dbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (264)

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