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• (323): View more from California

  my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..

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• 

  29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.

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• 

  21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

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• (707): View more from California

  Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten

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