He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
