Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
