I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
