Your dad touched me again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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