Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
