You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
