Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you inspire me to be a worse person
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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