I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
