If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
