i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
